Dear Dr. Fortran:
At least this consultation will not cost me the $30 copay for the usual Dr's appointments.
So I finally got back to Australia after 2 years in Texas. The skiing, according to my cousins, was the best in the last two decades, so I took my daughter and went skiing. It was like finding an IDE that let you seamlessly link Fortran and Lisp. Wonderful.
So I am at Thredbo, I leave my daughter on the simple runs and move to Gun Barrel. Looks like the 40 mile Paris Gun from WWI. Black Diamond with a Most Difficult tag on the top of the run. Stand on top of a 5 storey building and look straight down, not quite as steep as Gun Barrel, but it is at least a soft landing - wind chill -22 degrees C, blowing ice particles and not a soul on the run (I wonder why). I make it to the bottom - ok I had to stop once to catch my breath. Stack it in the dip at the bottom - I am lying in the snow, skis buried to the boots in the hill, thought - bindings must be to tight did not release boots, breathing like there is no air, heart is pounding and then think I am having a heart attack - my first thought was of Dr. Fortran - thanks Dr. Fortran I took your advice, took a few deep breaths and then rested for a minute. Heart felt better and I could actually feel the O2 return to my brain. 20 minutes later I am again standing on my skis - takes a while to release from the position I was in and I still had the other half to face -
Finally on the bottom half - there is a guy on a snowboard half way down, he stands up and then falls forward onto this face, flips onto his back - stuck in an infinite do loop - very funny - but not for him I ski up behind him and point to the kiddy run - yes we Fortran programs are hard on those Basic Folks.
Get to the bottom and my daughter looks at me and says - you were only gone for 10 minutes, I say no at least 40 and she says no - ten. Must have been in a OS2 Warp.
Thanks Doctor - you are the best
An old Fortran Skier.